Emotional Literacy — The Power of Naming Your Feelings

"There are more than 3,000 words to describe feelings in English alone. Let's do an exercise to see how many you know. In 30 seconds, write down as many as you can. Ready? Begin!"

During my EQ Practitioner course, I discovered that there was an entirely new language to learn — the language of feelings. I felt perplexed.

Later, I understood that I didn't need to know ALL the words to be emotionally literate and benefit from the practice.

In this article, I highlight the best reasons why emotional literacy is a skill you want to practice and how to integrate it into your daily life easily.

Conscious mind-body connection

Allow me to throw in a few technicalities. First, although we use emotion and feeling interchangeably, researchers distinguish between the two. An emotion is an autonomic, largely unconscious behavioral or cognitive response to a significant event or object. A feeling is the conscious, felt experience of that emotion.

It is helpful to distinguish the two to understand that when we name our feelings, we create consciousness around the unconscious experience we undergo in our body due to the release of certain chemicals (emotion).

In other words, by naming our feelings, we create a conscious connection between our body and mind experiences.

You have the power to choose

“When we name an emotion or experience, it doesn’t give that emotion or experience more power, it gives US more power.” — Brené Brown

Often, we fall victim to our emotional reactions, believing that we have no power or control over them: "it just happens." Allow me to challenge this belief. Is this true?

It turns out the choice is ours. We can amplify that choice through awareness. When we become aware of a feeling or an experience, it gives us the power to act upon it. Awareness is the doorway to change.

Naming your feelings is the first step to acknowledging you have the power to choose your experience.

Create a mindful distance (observer's seat)

It is very easy to get caught up in a feeling. So much so that it becomes overwhelming and absorbs you entirely. As a result, you cannot think straight nor behave as you would like.

It is essential to understand that you are not your feelings. The experience and yourself are not one. Separating the two creates a less overwhelming, mindful space.

Dissociation is the practice of detaching from our feelings and creating a space between the feeling and ourselves, who are having the experience. It is the practice of becoming an observer of your inner state.

Naming your emotions is the quickest and most effective way to create that distance and put you in an observer's seat. When we can observe from a distance, we get a clearer understanding of what is happening.

Avoid layering feelings on top of feelings

Feelings are complex. We don't experience one feeling at a time. Many times, the experience is layered or mixed. As a coach, the most powerful question I find myself asking is:

"What else are you feeling?"

Usually, after the first answer to "How are you feeling?" the above question, repeated 2–3 times, gives me a clearer insight into what the client might be experiencing inside.

I also have observed in myself and others that when we leave feelings unnamed, even though we experience inner discomfort, we generate a feeling about feelings. Many times, it is the feeling of fear or frustration towards the unknown.

"Why do I feel this way?" "What on earth is this feeling?!"

Then, the situation becomes even more complicated to untangle. Naming our feelings is an effective strategy to avoid layering feelings of fear or frustration on top and gain clarity about the unknown.

Conclusion

Naming our feelings is a practice that gives us the power to:

• create a conscious connection between our body and mind experiences
• choose our experiences
• create a mindful distance between the overwhelming experience
• gain clarity about the unknown

Thank you for reading this article to the end. Lastly, here is the part on integration into your daily life.

I invite you to sit with your feelings and ask yourself, "What am I feeling? What else? What else?…" Write down or speak out loud the feelings that emerge for you.

By practicing this simple exercise regularly, you'll improve your emotional literacy, gain greater self-awareness, and ultimately develop the ability to navigate your emotions more effectively. Embrace the power of naming your feelings and witness the positive impact it can have on your overall well-being.