My Journey to Embracing Emotional Intelligence

I was born in Chernogolovka, a small picturesque town located 50 km (30 miles) northwest of Moscow, Russia, and well-known for being one of the centers of the Russian Academy of Sciences. My father, a physicist, was working at the Scientific Center.

My early childhood memories are vague. My parents were working, and I was raised by my grandparents, who often recall how stubborn and assertive I was as a child. They laugh about a story where I would throw tantrums until I was given a piece of chewing gum, a new item in the Soviet Union's kiosks at the time. I can imagine how this would have been a source of embarrassment in a small town where everyone knew each other.

Back then, I was at the center of my own little world, and anger was my guardian, or at least that's how I imagine I felt.

When I was born, my father was in Grenoble, France, conducting experiments at a local research center. Born on April Fool's Day, he was skeptical when he received the phone call announcing my birth. His experiments led to a 5-year contract in France, and I was 5 years old when we moved there.

Looking back, this move was a critical moment in my life that expanded my world. Chernogolovka was beautiful with its flat forests and lakes, but the stunning Alps I saw from our window in Grenoble captured my heart. When I returned to Grenoble as an adult after 10 years, I was moved to tears at the sight of the alpine scenery that I had missed.

In Grenoble, I attended public school and learned the language with ease, making friends quickly. Despite the new experiences, I deeply missed my grandparents and felt disconnected. Overall, I was happy during those years, but I also remember feeling a lot of sadness.

In hindsight, I believe that this sadness taught me the importance of connections with others. As my world expanded, it was no longer just about me.

My father accepted a new position in Japan when I was ten. At the time of the announcement, I was unfamiliar with Japan and didn't know what to expect. We arrived on a hot and humid day in early September.

The Scientific Center was located in a small town in Hyogo Prefecture, where I attended public school. While it may not have seemed unusual to my parents, it was a challenge for me as a 10-year-old who didn't speak Japanese and felt like an outsider among my classmates. I struggled to make connections and felt lonely and like I didn't belong, but was desperate to fit in.

As I entered adolescence, I felt confused and uncertain about the unknown. I was experiencing culture shock, and my world felt small. This experience taught me empathy for others as I became highly aware of their thoughts and feelings. However, it also made me self-conscious and hesitant to express my own thoughts. 

It wasn't until I went to university in Tokyo that I realized it was okay to be different. This sentiment was reinforced when I participated in a study abroad program in Milan, Italy. I met many different people, connected with them, and felt my world expanding once again.

After graduation, my family moved to NY, USA, while I remained in Tokyo. I started my career at a Japanese sogo-shosha. I started my career at a Japanese sogo-shosha and had a high-paying job, flying internationally to attend board meetings with executives, living in the center of Tokyo. I had everything I could ask for but still felt unfulfilled and unhappy with my job and life(somedays to tears).

Later, I realized that the tears were not a sign of sadness but rather a mask for the anger that was brewing inside me. Society often dictates that women shouldn't show anger and instead should display sadness and tears. The reverse is expected of men. I learned that our emotions may not always align with how we express them.

My guardian, anger, was reminding me of my values and that I could create my own path rather than pursuing a corporate job that didn't align with them. The pandemic was a turning point for me. I felt lonely and disconnected from my loved ones, but my sadness reminded me of the importance of connection, and my anger gave me the courage to leave my job and move to Taiwan to be with my husband.

It wasn't until I started learning about emotions and emotional intelligence that I was able to make sense of my experiences and understand my feelings. Anger, I realized, was my guardian, helping me connect with my inner drive and pursue my own path. Sadness reflected my value for connection with others, while fear was a constant companion that I learned to acknowledge without fearing.

Throughout my journey, I have learned that emotional intelligence is not just a useful skill for success in life, but it is a way to understand and connect with ourselves on a deeper level. Our emotions are a valuable part of our lives and should not be ignored or suppressed. By embracing and understanding our emotions, we can grow and develop as individuals.

Embracing diversity and different perspectives have been a crucial part of my journey to emotional intelligence. My experiences have shaped me into a person who values empathy and understanding and has equipped me with the tools to navigate different situations and environments.

I believe that emotional intelligence is a lifelong journey, and I am excited to continue learning and growing in this area. Emotional Intelligence is a crucial aspect of our well-being, and I encourage others to develop their emotional intelligence through their own journeys.