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| Sharpen your emotional edge.
Welcome to this week's "The EQ Edge." Today, we're exploring SURPRISE!!!
Surprise: an emotion or not? The emotion studies field is split. Some say it's not an emotion. They argue it's neither pleasant nor unpleasant, something they view as a characteristic for all emotions. It’s true that surprise can feel different for everyone. Some love it, others hate it.
I invite you to look at it another way. What if we see surprise as a door to other feelings? Surprise is a very brief emotion. In seconds, it can lead to happiness, like at a surprise birthday party, sadness from bad news, or anger from a broken trust. Much like confusion clears our thoughts, surprise can reset our emotions. It makes us stop and look around to assess what just happened. Even as the briefest emotion, I think it plays a big role in our emotional journey. Let's explore. |
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Emotion Spotlight
SURPRISE
“A true leader always keeps an element of surprise up his sleeve, which others cannot grasp but which keeps his public excited and breathless." - Charlle de Gaule
Surprise brings spontaneity into our lives. It keeps us alert and involved! Charlle De Gaulle believed that a leader with surprises can keep people excited. That belief helped him get more support and involvement from his followers.
For today's leaders, this perspective is relevant. With many feeling disengaged at work, surprise can shake things up. In the workplace, a touch of spontaneity can keep us adaptable, vigilant, and engaged, pushing us beyond our comfort zones, triggering fresh thinking, motivating problem-solving, and inspiring creative exploration.
Let's be honest, whether we like it or not, life and work would be boring without surprises! |
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Understanding SURPRISE
Definition: Surprise is a brief emotion that results from an unexpected event. It makes us focus our attention on and determine what is happening.
Message: "Something unexpected has happened; adjust your expectations and respond."
Feeling: Surprise feels like a sudden jolt. It can stun or overwhelm us for a moment.
*In this exploration, we separate surprise from startle. Surprise is an emotion, while startle is a physical reaction to something unexpected like a loud noise or a spider in the room.
SURPRISE in Leadership
As a leader, dealing with surprises well means being open and adaptable to unexpected events. See these moments as growth chances, not problems. Apply the perspective that surprises are doors to other feelings. Even if a surprise comes from bad news or unexpected work problems, use it to reset emotions and guide your team to a more desired feeling. For example, a sudden challenge can be seen as an exciting chance, turning shock into hope and excitement.
You can also use surprise to generate more engagement from your team. Make good surprises on purpose. This could be a surprise thank you for your team, making a normal meeting fun, or delivering a product that exceeds customers' expectations.
Useful when:
- Boosting Engagement: Unexpected events or initiatives can spark interest and enhance engagement within a team.
- Freshening Up Meetings: A surprising suggestion can stimulate creative thinking and generate novel ideas.
- Creating Positive Client Experiences: Surprising clients with over-delivery or personalized service can enhance client satisfaction and loyalty
- Facilitating Learning: Surprising elements in training or learning situations can make lessons more memorable, thereby facilitating better retention and application.
- Innovative Problem-Solving: Surprise can be beneficial when dealing with problems or crises. An unexpected issue can nudge you to think outside the box and encourage innovative solutions.
Not useful when:
- Rapid Decision-Making: Surprises can lead to rash decisions. For instance, a sudden restructuring in the organization might trigger leaders to quickly fill gaps without assessing the suitability of the personnel involved. Reflective Question: "Am I making decisions based on the immediate need to react, or am I considering the long-term implications?"
- Resistance to Change: Sometimes, leaders themselves are taken aback by innovative suggestions in meetings, leading to resistance to these new ideas. Reflective Question: "Am I resisting this idea because it's surprising and unfamiliar or because it is genuinely not beneficial for the team or organization?"
Communication tips:
When surprises occur, seize the unique opportunity to influence the atmosphere and guide your team toward feelings like curiosity, excitement, and enthusiasm. For instance, you might say, "This surprise gives us a chance to innovate," or, "This unexpected change is a new adventure for us." By communicating this way, leaders not only address the surprise but also steer the emotional response toward a more positive and productive direction, fostering an environment of resilience, adaptability, and growth. |
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As we wrap up this week's edition of "The EQ Edge," I encourage you to embrace the element of surprise. See it as an opportunity for growth, a chance to innovate, and a tool to enhance engagement. After all, without surprises, life and work would indeed be quite dull!
Stay tuned for our next issue where we'll continue to explore the fascinating world of emotions. Until then, keep surprising and keep sharpening your emotional edge!
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