Understanding ANGER
Definition: A feeling that emerges when we sense unfairness, a violation of our values, or a threat to our sense of self.
Message: "Your values are challenged. Restore your boundaries."
ANGER in Leadership
As a leader, understanding the link between anger and personal values is vital for authentic leadership. Anger not only highlights what matters to you but also aids in self-awareness, establishing clear boundaries, and guiding decision-making. By channeling anger constructively, you can reinforce these values in your team, model positive behaviors, and cultivate a respectful work environment.
How?
We usually suppress or react impulsively to emotions. A healthier approach is to 'get curious.' To do this:
- Adjust your mindset to view emotions as valuable information.
- Allow yourself to feel - practice makes this more comfortable.
- Remember, 'You are not your emotions.' View your emotions objectively, like the eye of a storm.
Then, invite curiosity and ask yourself: “What am I feeling? What is this emotion telling me? What are my options? What is important to me?”
Leverage anger for;
- Authentic leadership: Let anger help you understand yourself better. It's like a mirror showing you what really matters to you as a leader.
- Facilitating resolution for conflicts: Use your anger to get to the bottom of arguments or disagreements and sort them out.
- Driving for positive change: If something in your team or company isn't right, your anger can be the push you need to change it for the better.
- Upholding integrity: When you're angry, it can be a sign to stand up for what you believe is right and fair, both for you and your team.
Communication tips:
Learning to navigate anger constructively enables you to lead your team by example. Be alert to changes in team members' behavior indicating underlying anger. Start a conversation with, "I've noticed a change in your behavior, and it seems something important is bothering you. How can I support you in addressing it together?" Guide the conversation towards understanding their values and finding solutions by asking, "What do you feel is being compromised here, and what do you think would be the best way to handle it?" Don't offer solutions, but instead ignite the inner coach in you - listen, ask, and listen more to show your care. |
